The importance of setting a good example for those we lead

"A good example is far better than a good precept."

Long before I became a father, I was well aware of the importance of setting a good example for those listening and watching. However, being a father of three young children under the age of seven has underscored the importance of this point. Now, more than ever, I am aware of the importance of the words I choose to use and the behaviors I display.

Over the past few months my son, Sawyer Owen, has mimicked my behavior numerous times. Once, after leaving my office door ajar, I entered the room to see him banging away at my keyboard—just like Daddy does. Recently, he has also appeared to be preoccupied with carrying a coffee cup around the house, pretending to drink coffee—just like Daddy does. Finally, I was able to capture him mimicking one of my good habits in the picture below.

Never in my life have I been more aware of the importance of setting a good example. Sawyer Owen, along with his older sister, Sloane Kathleen, are constantly watching what I do, listening to what I say, and often engaging in the same behavior and using the same words I choose to use. If I am not on my guard, this could prove to be a problem!

As educators, eyes are constantly watching us and ears are continually picking up that which proceeds from our mouths. Believe it or not, we are role models for the students we educate, the families we serve, and the teachers we lead. Therefore, I would suggest that there is no neutral in regard to what we say and do. People are always looking to us for direction and guidance. This is a massive responsibility to shoulder, but it is ours and it is imperative that we embrace it to effect positive change.

Do you want your students and overall school community to become better problem solvers? Model the way for them. Do you want your staff to embrace the concept of a growth mindset? Lead the way for them by embracing it first. As educators, we must adopt the maxim popularized by Gandhi: Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Our nation’s schools need leadership. One of the most important tenets of leadership is to set a good example for those following you by modeling exactly what you desire to see from them. All educators and educational leaders must embrace this responsibility.

10 tips for the school leaders I am fortunate to serve

1. Revisit rules, norms, expectations, and goals with your respective staffs and students. I cannot stress the importance of this enough; there is a reason why I chose to place it at the top of the list. Students--and the majority of staff--have been off for 16 days and believe me when I tell you they will need the reminders. It is up to you to provide these "gentle" reminders and get them started on the right path in 2017.

2. Create a sense of urgency. Folks, what we do is important--very important. However, not every staff member acts this way and it is up to each of us to create this type of environment. We must show improvement in all areas: culture; communication; punctuality; citizenship; behavior; and, yes, academic outcomes. What we do is important. Make sure we model this for those we serve.

3. Don't trip over your ego. I've met a lot of people and watched folks work in all sorts of situations and the one thing that consistently derails people is the inability to manage their ego. Time and again I have seen people literally sabotage their own career due to some real or perceived slight; they figuratively cut off their nose to spite their face. There are three keys to managing your ego. The first is "Don't take anything personally." Taking things personally is relinquishing your power; in fact, you are actually giving the other person power over you. Don't do it. A second recommendation is "Keep the end in mind." Ask yourself, what is it you want out of the situation? Oftentimes allowing your ego to take control will prevent you from getting what you want. The third and final suggestion is "Remember, you are who you argue with." Think that person you just finished screaming at is an idiot? Guess what? There were two idiots in that scenario.

4. Be where your feet are. Humans are unique in that our minds possess the ability to be in three different places: the past, the present, or the future. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but be where your feet are. If not, before you know it the present will be the past you took for granted. Tomorrow is not guaranteed--make the most of today.

5. Increase your presence in areas that matter. When you are at work where are the most important places for you to be? If you are a principal or assistant principal the three top answers are the classroom, the classroom, and the classroom. Right now you might be getting the idea that I want the principals and assistant principals to spend more time in our school's classrooms--you would be right. You should do an observation daily, even if for only 15 minutes. The classrooms are where the rubber meets the road--get there, be there, and provide feedback. Moreover, thank them for allowing you to watch them in action. Doing this will make a difference. Trust me. If you are receiving this email (this is not only sent to instructional leaders), please know I expect you to do the following as often as possible: attend staff meetings; sit down in the lunchroom and eat with our students when you have the opportunity to do so; be visible and active during drop-off and pick-up times; spend some time in the parking lot chatting with parents and opening doors for kids; and be where the action takes place, when it takes place.

6. Be a good teammate. People in schools want to gossip. Don't gossip. Utilize Socrates' three filters--they are as follows: Is what you are about to tell me true? Is what you are about to tell me good news? Is what you are about to tell me useful? If it does not pass these three filters, politely ask them to keep that poison to themselves. You will be doing yourself--and the rest of us--a massive favor.

7. Communicate with clarity and compassion. Don't assume they understand what you are saying, but rather check to ensure they understand what you are saying. Moreover, be gentle and communicate in a way that allows others to save face and guards their dignity. Clear, compassionate communication is the grease that allows the engine to keep running.

8. Put away your gavel--you are not Judge Judy. We are all flawed and we were all created the same way. God didn't spend any extra time on me or anyone else for that matter. None of us are as bad as others may believe or as good as we would like to believe. True story.

9. Err on the side of grace. Be gentle with one another; everyone you meet is fighting some type of battle or dealing with some type of challenge. What may appear small to you may mean the world to them. Go forth in kindness or stay home.

10. Rope up. Cowboys (and cowgirls) are for the movies; we don't need any Lone Rangers at our school. What we do need is one another. If the job before us could be completed by one person it would already be done. Nothing--and I mean nothing--of significance is accomplished alone. We need one another. When folks are climbing mountains they "rope up" so that in the event they fall they do not fall to their death; they are saved by the connection to their fellow climber(s). Sounds like a good idea, huh?

Why winners win

You just won the SEC football championship and your defense is being discussed as one of the greatest in the modern era, so maybe you would think that you deserve to sleep in a bit the following day. Well, you don’t think this way if you are Jeremy Pruitt, Defensive Coordinator for the top-ranked Alabama Crimson Tide.

Less than 12 hours after winning the championship game against the University of Florida in Atlanta, GA, Mr. Pruitt was walking into the football complex at the University of Alabama. An ESPN reporter commented that she and her crew arrived at 5:00 AM to set up for live coverage beginning at noon and were stunned when Mr. Pruitt showed up to work at 6:15 AM—on a Sunday morning. After winning the SEC championship. This is why winners win.

None of us are coaching in a nationally televised conference championship game anytime soon, but as educators we are all—each of us—involved in a high stakes industry. What we do—and leave undone—has tremendous consequences for the children under our care. There is no doubt that teacher salaries are not commensurate with Mr. Pruitt’s but their responsibilities are far more important, so ideally we should possess the same passion for excellence.

Most likely all of us are getting ready for a well-deserved winter break. Perhaps some of us are thinking about how glad we will be to walk out and not walk back in for approximately two weeks. I have no doubt the educators I know and work with on a daily basis deserve this break; they may even need this break. However, if you want to be great at what you do, this upcoming winter break is a great time to recalibrate and adjust your course for the remainder of the academic year.

What is on your to-do list for the break? Most everybody works hard during the season, that is when school is in session; but the difference makers take advantage of these breaks to reflect upon and perfect their craft. I wish you the best this holiday season!

Make tomorrow better for others

“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”

---Frederick Buechner

            What if other’s tomorrow were entirely up to you? I mean, what if your influence, your very presence, determined what type of day each person you came into contact had? How would today have been? Would folks be glad they were with you or would they have just wished you stayed home today?

            Tomorrow each of us will come into contact with numerous people—some we know and others we have yet to befriend. Each of us possesses the potential to brighten their day, put a smile on their respective faces, and send them off prepared to do the same for others.

            Now, many of these folks will most likely have a perfectly fine day no matter what we do, or leave undone. However, there are countless others who need us: folks who need us to smile at them because it has been a long time since their heart has been warmed by a smile; folks who need us to compliment them because it has been far too long since someone made them feel special; folks who have been pushed to the margins of society and are just waiting for someone to bring them back in with an act of kindness that restores their dignity.

            What we do, or leave undone, will have ramifications tomorrow. Imagine how much better tomorrow will be if each of us accepts the responsibility to be kind to all those we meet tomorrow—it would be a great day. Tomorrow we can make a difference, and none of us knows where that difference will end or how important it will be. 

“Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”
―Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

            I love this quote. However, I need to remind myself of it on a daily basis. Far too often I allow what I see—or have seen—to influence how I treat others. A past slight, perceived or actual, possesses the potential to determine how we view, and subsequently treat, others. A negative first impression may doom an individual to a lifetime of indifference or lowered expectations. We must guard against this tendency.

            John Maxwell suggests there are three variables that assist folks in changing: they learn enough; they hurt enough; or they are allowed to change. We can play a role in all three instances, but the third one is where my focus is today. When we hold a view of someone, especially a negative view, we are creating an environment that serves to inhibit or prevent any change on their part. Scroll back up to the top of the page and take a look at the quote again.

            We all possess incredible potential, but each of us requires a certain set of circumstances to reach that potential. How we view, and treat, others either lifts them up or keeps them shackled to the ground. Today I encourage you to think about a person in your life who could benefit from you changing your view of them. Do something—anything—that edifies them and allows them to become that which they were created to be. Identify the student or staff member in your life that could benefit from a new, improved view and write them a letter, call them, or meet with them and help them see the good within themselves they are unable to see without your assistance. Do it today; tomorrow is not promised to us.

            

Thinking about what might have been led me to appreciate what already is

How many of you purchased a Powerball ticket when the jackpot was approximately $1.5 billion? I really, really hoped to have the winning numbers for that drawing; I even bought two tickets. I usually restrict my financial donation to the purchase of one ticket, but this time I was going all out in an effort to win.

When the numbers were announced I am sure none of you will find it surprising that my two tickets to a different life simply turned out to be two new bookmarks. Subsequently, I may still head to an Alabama football game this upcoming season, but I will not be driving a brand new motorhome to get there. That is too bad, because I most likely would have invited a few of you along for the ride. Heck, I would have even picked up the tabs at the numerous Waffle House and Chik-fil-A stops along the way!

I purchased two tickets because I wanted an opportunity at a better life, but the experience made me more appreciative of the life I already lead. While thinking about all I would do upon adding a whole bunch of zeros to my checking balance, I also began thinking about the abundance of blessings in my life currently.

I am blessed to be born and live in a nation that allows me certain freedoms, rights, and opportunities that countless others risk death to obtain. My country is far from perfect, but it is a country that allows its citizens to continually challenge it to live up to the promise it made to the world at the very beginning of its history. Moreover, it is the land of opportunity. Don’t believe it? Simply look around you and see the numerous examples of many who through hard work and determination have elevated their station in life. Were our nation’s borders open to all, we would double our population in no time and triple it soon after that; the only people cynical about the American Dream are already living here.

On a daily basis I pray to be a blessing to others as so many others have been a blessing to me. Time and again, I have been blessed by the wonderful people who have walked in and out of my life. I simply could not fathom having a better family or group of friends. I can count on them to lift me up when I fall, applaud me when I succeed, or gently cut me down to size when I get a little too big for my britches. For this, I am eternally grateful. I am where I am—and who I am—thanks to their efforts. The credit for all that is good is largely theirs, and the credit for what is left . . . well, I guess that falls squarely on my shoulders.

There is a lot I would have done had I been in possession of the winning numbers a few weeks back. No doubt there would be a few salespeople out there in a better spot financially due to the commissions they earned off my impulsiveness.  Had I held the winning ticket, I would certainly be in possession of more things, but I really believe I already have all I need.