Thank you so much to those of you sharing your thoughts and stories on my last post. It is a great deal of fun to read your thoughts and to hear how others have dealt with the fear of failure in their lives. The fear that tells us not to pick up a rattlesnake is a good thing, but the fear that tells us not to try because we might fail is a very bad thing. This is the fear that prevents us from becoming what we were created to be; the fear that holds us back from realizing our potential. I have spent a great deal of time watching others, examining my past, and thinking about this subject in order to determine why we are so afraid to take that step, to venture outside our comfort zone, to get out of our respective boats. I have identified the following three areas as reasons people are afraid to get out of their boats.
1. Low self-esteem. It is very, very difficult for people to step outside their comfort zone and risk failure when they do not feel good about themselves. People need to have a relatively high level of self-esteem in order to withstand the possible blow to their ego associated with failure. With a high level of self-esteem, we are able to handle the loss of face we too often associate with failure. On the other hand, a low self-esteem will often work to hold us back as we become too concerned about what others will think about our failure. Instead of focusing on the possible benefits of our efforts, we instead focus on all that we believe will come with our potential failure.
2. Non-supportive environment. Far too often we do not surround ourselves with the right type of people. We need people around us who delight in our triumphs and console us during our failures. Unfortunately we often have people around us who delight in our failures and are jealous of our triumphs. The people we bring into our lives act as either balloons or anchors: they either raise us up or they serve to keep us anchored to the ground (more to come on this later in the month).
3. Culture. There seems to be such a stigma associated with failure today. So many people I come into contact with use language that would lead you to believe that those who achieve greatness were born for it. I suggest the opposite: those who achieve greatness are keenly aware of the bitter taste of failure and defeat. Nobody, and I mean nobody, gets to the top of the mountain unscathed. All champions emerge, bruised, bloodied, but unbowed despite the setbacks they endure. This is what makes them champions; the courage to endure setback after setback with an unwavering belief in their eventual victory in whatever endeavor they pursue. This is what victors are made of and this is the behavior we should emulate.
I am convinced that if we can overcome these three impediments, we will be primed to get out of our boats and take our first steps toward greatness. Imagine what we would be capable of achieving if we no longer feared the sting or stigma of failure?
