The importance of setting a good example for those we lead

"A good example is far better than a good precept."

Long before I became a father, I was well aware of the importance of setting a good example for those listening and watching. However, being a father of three young children under the age of seven has underscored the importance of this point. Now, more than ever, I am aware of the importance of the words I choose to use and the behaviors I display.

Over the past few months my son, Sawyer Owen, has mimicked my behavior numerous times. Once, after leaving my office door ajar, I entered the room to see him banging away at my keyboard—just like Daddy does. Recently, he has also appeared to be preoccupied with carrying a coffee cup around the house, pretending to drink coffee—just like Daddy does. Finally, I was able to capture him mimicking one of my good habits in the picture below.

Never in my life have I been more aware of the importance of setting a good example. Sawyer Owen, along with his older sister, Sloane Kathleen, are constantly watching what I do, listening to what I say, and often engaging in the same behavior and using the same words I choose to use. If I am not on my guard, this could prove to be a problem!

As educators, eyes are constantly watching us and ears are continually picking up that which proceeds from our mouths. Believe it or not, we are role models for the students we educate, the families we serve, and the teachers we lead. Therefore, I would suggest that there is no neutral in regard to what we say and do. People are always looking to us for direction and guidance. This is a massive responsibility to shoulder, but it is ours and it is imperative that we embrace it to effect positive change.

Do you want your students and overall school community to become better problem solvers? Model the way for them. Do you want your staff to embrace the concept of a growth mindset? Lead the way for them by embracing it first. As educators, we must adopt the maxim popularized by Gandhi: Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Our nation’s schools need leadership. One of the most important tenets of leadership is to set a good example for those following you by modeling exactly what you desire to see from them. All educators and educational leaders must embrace this responsibility.

10 tips for the school leaders I am fortunate to serve

1. Revisit rules, norms, expectations, and goals with your respective staffs and students. I cannot stress the importance of this enough; there is a reason why I chose to place it at the top of the list. Students--and the majority of staff--have been off for 16 days and believe me when I tell you they will need the reminders. It is up to you to provide these "gentle" reminders and get them started on the right path in 2017.

2. Create a sense of urgency. Folks, what we do is important--very important. However, not every staff member acts this way and it is up to each of us to create this type of environment. We must show improvement in all areas: culture; communication; punctuality; citizenship; behavior; and, yes, academic outcomes. What we do is important. Make sure we model this for those we serve.

3. Don't trip over your ego. I've met a lot of people and watched folks work in all sorts of situations and the one thing that consistently derails people is the inability to manage their ego. Time and again I have seen people literally sabotage their own career due to some real or perceived slight; they figuratively cut off their nose to spite their face. There are three keys to managing your ego. The first is "Don't take anything personally." Taking things personally is relinquishing your power; in fact, you are actually giving the other person power over you. Don't do it. A second recommendation is "Keep the end in mind." Ask yourself, what is it you want out of the situation? Oftentimes allowing your ego to take control will prevent you from getting what you want. The third and final suggestion is "Remember, you are who you argue with." Think that person you just finished screaming at is an idiot? Guess what? There were two idiots in that scenario.

4. Be where your feet are. Humans are unique in that our minds possess the ability to be in three different places: the past, the present, or the future. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but be where your feet are. If not, before you know it the present will be the past you took for granted. Tomorrow is not guaranteed--make the most of today.

5. Increase your presence in areas that matter. When you are at work where are the most important places for you to be? If you are a principal or assistant principal the three top answers are the classroom, the classroom, and the classroom. Right now you might be getting the idea that I want the principals and assistant principals to spend more time in our school's classrooms--you would be right. You should do an observation daily, even if for only 15 minutes. The classrooms are where the rubber meets the road--get there, be there, and provide feedback. Moreover, thank them for allowing you to watch them in action. Doing this will make a difference. Trust me. If you are receiving this email (this is not only sent to instructional leaders), please know I expect you to do the following as often as possible: attend staff meetings; sit down in the lunchroom and eat with our students when you have the opportunity to do so; be visible and active during drop-off and pick-up times; spend some time in the parking lot chatting with parents and opening doors for kids; and be where the action takes place, when it takes place.

6. Be a good teammate. People in schools want to gossip. Don't gossip. Utilize Socrates' three filters--they are as follows: Is what you are about to tell me true? Is what you are about to tell me good news? Is what you are about to tell me useful? If it does not pass these three filters, politely ask them to keep that poison to themselves. You will be doing yourself--and the rest of us--a massive favor.

7. Communicate with clarity and compassion. Don't assume they understand what you are saying, but rather check to ensure they understand what you are saying. Moreover, be gentle and communicate in a way that allows others to save face and guards their dignity. Clear, compassionate communication is the grease that allows the engine to keep running.

8. Put away your gavel--you are not Judge Judy. We are all flawed and we were all created the same way. God didn't spend any extra time on me or anyone else for that matter. None of us are as bad as others may believe or as good as we would like to believe. True story.

9. Err on the side of grace. Be gentle with one another; everyone you meet is fighting some type of battle or dealing with some type of challenge. What may appear small to you may mean the world to them. Go forth in kindness or stay home.

10. Rope up. Cowboys (and cowgirls) are for the movies; we don't need any Lone Rangers at our school. What we do need is one another. If the job before us could be completed by one person it would already be done. Nothing--and I mean nothing--of significance is accomplished alone. We need one another. When folks are climbing mountains they "rope up" so that in the event they fall they do not fall to their death; they are saved by the connection to their fellow climber(s). Sounds like a good idea, huh?