Perhaps no generation has been under fire like this
current group of teenagers. In my
opinion, much of the criticism is unfounded and much of what we criticize is
the result of lax parenting by members of my generation. I believe this generation has as much
potential as any previous generation and has encountered challenges
unprecedented until now. Moreover, I
strongly believe that many, many members of my generation have largely failed
to provide leadership, mentoring, and guidance for these young people. That is not to say that these young people
are not responsible for what they do and leave undone, but rather we need to
assist them along the way and engage them rather than lecture and point out
shortcomings. I believe there are three
questions central to engaging our young people and getting them to assume
ownership of their future and their future success or failure.
Who are you?
This question is essential and must be asked first in order to spark
their thinking. Who are you--what
different identities do you claim? The
initial response(s) may be surface level, but we need to dig deeper and provoke
these students to think beyond surface level identities. Are you the kid most people believed to be
destined for success or are you the person other people doubt? Are you the person that knows what it means
to go to bed hungry and has had to fight and claw to gain an advantage their
entire life? Are you the person who
embraces struggle and overcomes obstacles others cannot
even begin to fathom? Are you the person
who gets up each and every time they are knocked down? Or, are you the person willing to accept
setbacks when life tells you that you were just not good enough this time? Who are you?
Do you have any idea? You need to
start thinking about it; what you find has the potential to keep you humble and
grounded when you most need these attributes.
Moreover, it may serve to motivate you when you need that extra little
push to get you over the hump. Finally, knowing
who you are and where you came from allows you to celebrate progress toward
becoming the person you wish to be.
Who do you represent? You obviously represent yourself, but who else has a stake
in your behavior, has a stake in your eventual failure or success? How about your parents? You did not get here all by your lonesome, so how
often do you consider how your actions will affect those people responsible for
giving you life? What about your
siblings and extended family? Don’t they
matter? Are they not concerned with your
life’s outcomes? If you are an
African-American you have a burden that people from other ethnic groups largely
do not understand; you are frequently asked to provide the representative
viewpoint for your ethnic group when in the presence of other ethnicities. As if all African-Americans thought the same
and were in lockstep on all issues, no matter how trivial or how important they
may be. Are you on a team? Then you certainly represent your teammates
and coaches. Have you ever stopped to
consider how your actions may impact them and their success or failure? In short, it is time to think about how your
actions, or lack of action, affect all the people directly and indirectly connected
to you. People care about you and they
care about your future; with that in mind you need to think about all the
people and groups you represent.
Who
do you want to become?
Is there a better question to ask our youth? Who among us doesn’t like to dream about the
future? Our youth still possess the
ability to completely turn their respective ships around, no matter the
direction they are currently heading.
That is extremely important, because we want those heading in the right
direction to keep heading that way full steam ahead, but we need those heading
in the wrong direction to think about where they may end up. We need to ask them if what they are doing,
their present set of cumulative behaviors, is going to get them where they want
to go; and we need to revisit this question over and over with them. Nobody wants to be a failure; they simply
fail to see the eventual effects of their current behaviors and change course? Who do you want to become? Our communities are starved for leaders, so
why not strive to make a difference? Or,
are you content to fall into the paradigms so many embrace for people of your
ethnicity, gender, or socio-economic class?
Why not break the mold? Why not
strive for that which others believe to be impossible? I don’t believe you were created to be
ordinary; at worse, you were created to do ordinary things in extraordinary
ways.
Our youth need our guidance,
support, and leadership, not our condemnation.
I have no doubt they have heard what they cannot do often enough to
believe it; I also have no doubt they could greatly benefit from hearing what
we believe them to be capable of doing.
However, this, alone, is not enough.
We need to get them to think about who they are, who they represent, and
who they want to become. In short, we
need to assist them in taking ownership of their lives. Too often they view themselves as victims of
circumstances, constrained by the circumstances they inherited. We, all of us, know this to be false. Time and again we have seen individuals rise
to heights far beyond what they believed themselves capable of reaching, all
because someone took an interest in them and their future.
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