We are robbing our children of the opportunity to develop the skills they will need later in life. Figuratively robbing them by preventing them from developing the requisite skills most of us developed during our early years. Yet, at the same time we bemoan the shortcomings of young people constantly, without realizing that we are contributing to--if not actually causing--the deficiencies and behaviors we find so troubling. Let's face it, adults are screwing things up for this generation.
Our youth live in a world largely, if not totally, constructed and supervised by adults. Think about it, when was the last time you observed kids out playing by themselves without adult supervision? Had a chance to observe any "pick-up" games on the court, field, diamond, etc.? I cannot recall the last time I saw children participating in any type of athletic contest without the direct supervision of at least one adult. Is it any wonder they have not developed the skills to work out even the smallest, most insignificant problem faced by previous generations in these exact same circumstances? Growing up, my friends and I were forced to develop coping and negotiation skills or we ran the risk of someone taking their ball and going home. If they weren't the owner of whatever ball we were using, we were at the least in danger of them walking away and leaving us with an odd number and uneven teams. To prevent this scenario we learned how to negotiate and to compromise. Moreover, we learned how to navigate life when we didn't get our way. These are skills largely absent from the playgrounds of today. Far too often a disagreement over a call or a dispute involving the score brings competition to a screeching halt. In fact, it is even difficult to find children playing by themselves on playgrounds; rather, they are registered for all sorts of activities facilitated, supervised, and coached by adults--many of them living out their childhood dreams through their children.
Parents,out of love, attempt to create a pain-free environment for their children. This is why everybody gets a ribbon, trophy, or certificate telling them how special they are even when they have not done anything special. God forbid that a child discover there are other children out there more talented than they are--what will happen to their self-esteem? In addition, rather than allow their children to work out their differences with other children, parents today are far too eager to jump in, to attempt to make things right. As a first-time father I truly understand the desire to prevent your child from experiencing any pain, but pain is often the best teacher. When we discover we don't like the way something feels, we have a tendency to learn from that experience and do our absolute best to avoid the behavior and associated pain at all costs. Failing to allow this to happen just delays the learning experience and often raises the stakes of the experience. It is much better to learn these lessons and to acquire the associated skills at a younger when there is less at stake--the pain is not as severe as it may prove to be later in life. Moreover, the acquisition of these skills at a young age serves to allow us to successfully navigate the greater challenges life brings our way throughout our lifetime.
Put simply, we are what is ailing our youth. We have robbed them of precious opportunities to develop skills that will serve them throughout their lives. We have delayed the maturation process and then pointed to the resulting immaturity and fixed blame on those very children we prevented from learning life's lesson. This current generation of young people is just as talented, just as capable, and can be just as resilient as previous generations if we will just allow them to be and get out of their way.
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